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Due Date Plus 5 & 6: The Never Ending Story

June 27, 2011

Or more like, the never ending pregnancy (I really hope they never remake the above movie). Days have passed and our baby refuses to leave. As my wife says, he is very much like his dad, he is stubborn and does not like change.  I am fairly certain my son has an internet connection in my wife’s belly and reads this website. So the following is directed to my soon to be born son:

Dear Tuk-Tuk,

This is your father writing. What are you doing in there??? It is time to leave. Do you hear me? Don’t make me go in there and pull you out. You are not going to like that. 

Listen, the longer you stay in there the longer your mom will hold this over your head. She is going to be telling you for years how long and agonizing her labor was. Do you want to hear things from your Mother like, “Do you realize I was in labor with you for 90 straight hours? And, now you stay out past curfew. Are you trying to kill me,” and, “I did the hard part which was being in labor with you for 90 hours, why can’t you simply make your Mother happy and meet a nice Jewish girl.”

Listen, I don’t know what you have been hearing but we are really cool parents. I can make a mean mango smoothie and your Mom has masted the art of making a Boboli Pizza.  We need you here because we have big plans. We also need a young person in the house to explain today’s music to us (we don’t really get Bieber or Ga-Ga).

Come soon so at least I will have someone to complain to about the Mets.


Your not so hip parents

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