Tomorrow our Mohel makes good on threat to slice our baby boy’s penis
I am not a huge fan of the whole Bris idea, but tomorrow is Zachary’s Bris. I have said before I am not against circumcision (did you know there is actually an anti-circumcision comic book?) but I think the waiting 8 days is odd. I am not sure what to expect tomorrow. Having not been to a Bris (except my own and my memory is fairly vague from that Bris), I really do not know how the whole event goes down. From what I gather, the Mohel discusses some religious stuff, cuts my boy’s penis and then everyone eats bagels and lox (it is not technically a Jewish ceremony if there are no lox). The Mohel’s husband called me the other day to discuss the ceremony his wife would be performing (yes, we are having a female Mohel, the glass ceiling has been cracked) . From what he said the only difference from what I thought is that there is also a lot of honoring family members.
Here are a list of ideas I had for the Bris that were rejected by my wife.
- When Zachary is brought out he should be introduced by an announcer in the same fashion that the New York Knicks introduce their players, “At 19.3 inches and 6Ibs 12 ounces, the baby who is about to get his wee wee cut, Zachary Harrison Kaplan,” and then the whole place goes crazy in applause.
- I want to get a corporate sponsor for the Bris, preferable Cutco.
- Have people look at before and after photos and see if they can point out the difference.
- Have a Mohel who is also a trained magician and can make the circumcision part of a disappearing act (it would be David Copperfield’s best trick).
- Get a singing Mohel (I am not sure what they would sing but it would be hilarious.