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Tomorrow our Mohel makes good on threat to slice our baby boy’s penis

July 4, 2011

I have no idea what this Mohel is doing

I am not a huge fan of the whole Bris idea, but tomorrow is Zachary’s Bris.  I have said before I am not against circumcision (did you know there is actually an anti-circumcision comic book?) but I think the waiting 8 days is odd. I am not sure what to expect tomorrow. Having not been to a Bris (except my own and my memory is fairly vague from that Bris), I really do not know how the whole event goes down. From what I gather, the Mohel discusses some religious stuff, cuts my boy’s penis and then everyone eats bagels and lox (it is not technically a Jewish ceremony if there are no lox).  The Mohel’s husband called me the other day to discuss the ceremony his wife would be performing (yes, we are having  a female Mohel, the glass ceiling has been cracked) . From what he said the only difference from what I thought is that there is also a lot of honoring family members.

Here are a list of ideas I had for the Bris that were rejected by my wife.

  1. When Zachary is brought out he should be introduced by an announcer in the same fashion that the New York Knicks introduce their players, “At 19.3 inches and 6Ibs 12 ounces, the baby who is about to get his wee wee cut, Zachary Harrison Kaplan,” and then the whole place goes crazy in applause.
  2. I want to get a corporate sponsor for the Bris, preferable Cutco.
  3. Have people look at before and after photos and see if they can point out the difference.
  4. Have a Mohel who is also a trained magician and can make the circumcision part of a disappearing act (it would be David Copperfield’s best trick).
  5. Get a singing Mohel (I am not sure what they would sing but it would be hilarious.
The other thing about the Bris. I have looked at my boy’s penis. I have no idea what the Mohel is cutting off. There is no lose flap of skin that will be coming off. I mean who came up with this idea and actually convinced his friends that they should do it too.
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2 Comments leave one →
  1. July 4, 2011 10:34 pm

    Some other thoughts on this:
    what kind of person decides that’s what they want to do for a career?
    the mohel can sing barber of seville
    that comic must get pretty monotonous after say…..1 issue. #1 – Huge strong man beats up a frail jewish guy just trying to do his job. #2 – Huge strong man beats up frail jewish guy….you get the idea

  2. August 9, 2011 5:59 am

    Glad to contribute a Jewish intactivist perspective to the conversation!

    Throughout Europe, the former Soviet Union, and South America, many Jews either never circumcised, or quietly stopped circumcising, believing it to be a violent pre-modern custom with obvious ethical problems. In America, some Jews don’t circumcise. But there is a movement of Jews who are replacing circumcision with a peaceful religious ritual that welcomes the child without violating their body. It is gaining recognition because of wonderful bloggers like you! Judaism is an evolving religion, one that is focused on human ethics.

    Here is even more information about Jews who are rejecting circumcision!

    A Jewish Intactivist Parenting Blog
    http://www.beyondthebris.com/

    Jews Against Circumcision
    http://www.jewsagainstcircumcision.org/

    Kahal – Israeli Jewish Intactivists
    http://www.kahal.org/main_english.html

    My Son, the Little Jew with a Foreskin by Stacey Greenberg
    http://mothering.com/health/my-son-the-little-jew-with-a-foreskin

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