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Holy Crap! Our first night alone with our baby Zachary

July 15, 2011

The calm before the storm

The storm

Last night our baby nurse left and we were finally left alone to start parenting by ourselves. Even though we really liked our baby nurse and she was great with Zachary, I was excited for her to leave. I felt like we were really not getting the true experience as we were parenting with training wheels up to this point (our place is also not that big so having an extra person living here was a little much). I was scared but at some point you have to jump into the deep end and see how it goes.

So how did our first night go?

5:05PM – Baby nurse leaves, we thank her for how great she has been. Zachary says goodbye or at least we pretend he says goodbye. Throughout the night he does not seem to notice her absence and seems happy as long as someone is feeding and changing him.

5:30PM – Things seem to be going well. Zachary is hanging out on his play mat (as pictured above). We do some tummy time and Zachary does a great job lifting up his neck.

5:50PM – Zachary still hanging out on the play mat. We start thinking things are not going to be so bad without the baby nurse. I hear Zachary poop so better go change him.

5:53PM – I take off his diaper and the poop is green. My wife and I discuss what it means when the poop is green as it is usually a mustard like yellow (this is the first time in my life that talking about poop is part of an adult conversation).

5:54PM – As I reach for the new diaper Zachary shoots a stream of poop out of his butt and across the room. It was as if his butt was a super-soaker filled with poop. There is now green poop everywhere and my wife and I go into freak out mode. My hands end up covered in poop because when your son has poop rocketing out of his anus you stop worrying about how gross it may be. We use maybe 30 baby wipes cleaning him up and the poop off the floor, changing table and random filing cabinet we have next to the changing table. We scrub the changing table pad and just hope the giant poop stain comes out in the wash (and surprisingly it does come out).

So within an hour of our baby nurse leaving all hell breaks lose. We calm Zachary and then it is bath time. Bath time consists of a naked Zachary crying a ton as we are obviously not doing as good a job as the baby nurse (he seemed much more relaxed when she would wash him). We make bath time go as fast as possible as he is miserable and we are just throwing soapy water at him.  I take him out of the bath and realize how slippery a wet naked baby can be (luckily my grip does not give out).

We then have a night that consists of feedings and changings at 10PM, 1AM, 3:30AM, 6AM and so forth. Each time it takes a while and each time we struggle to get him to go back to sleep. At one point he was sleeping and my wife went in to check to see if he was breathing. She touched his chest to feel if he was alive. I told her that if she touched him in his sleep again and risked waking him at this hour I might lose it. I also joked that it would be cool if he went into a short coma so we could get some sleep (this was a bad 4:30AM joke).

I guess we are full on parenting now and the reality of having a newborn has arrived. It is awesome and exhausting. The only positive about being so tired is that we are usually too exhausted to be grossed out or disgusted by any poop or spit up.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Marcia Kaplan permalink
    July 15, 2011 7:43 pm

    Bill Cosby said it all. The entire routine is priceless.


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