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Now that I have a baby, here are the top 10 things I would never say

July 31, 2011

As I write this it is 1:48AM on a Saturday night. I just finished feeding Zachary and put him down. I am now watching Shawshank Redemption on AMC (I really love that movie and could watch it over and over) while waiting to make sure Zachary is asleep. So here are the TOP 10 THINGS I WOULD NEVER SAY now that I have experienced having a baby for a little over a month.

  1. I wish I could lactate.
  2. I should record our baby crying so we can listen to it in a few years when we reminisce.
  3. I wish we were raising twins.
  4. Oh you have a newborn, I would be happy to babysit.
  5. Ewww, the baby spit up on me, I better change this shirt.
  6. Don’t worry honey, I’ll take care of all the night feedings.
  7. It is funny when a baby pees on his parent in a movie but that never happens in real life.
  8. I am going to lay down the law and our baby is just going to have to be on my schedule.
  9. That box of diapers should last us a few weeks at least (more like a few days max).
  10. My wife has it easy as she gets to stay home all day taking care of our baby while I actually have to work.
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