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Our biggest failing as parents is our attempt to use logic to understand our baby

October 10, 2011

A friend pointed out to me recently that where we keep going wrong is trying to explain our baby’s actions through logic…and, of course this made logical sense to me. When our baby boy breaks his sleeping routine and does not sleep well one or two nights in a row we throw out tons of explanations while we have nothing to really support our claims. Explanations for our baby’s poor sleeping nights have included:

  • maybe our baby is going through a growth spurt
  • maybe he was too tired when we put him to sleep
  • maybe he was not tired enough when we put him to sleep
  • maybe he did not feed him enough and we need to feed him more before putting him to sleep
  • maybe we fed him too much and his stomach was bothering him
  • maybe we did not burp him enough
  • maybe his swaddle is too tight
  • maybe he doesn’t want to be swaddled anymore
  • maybe he is upset by the European debt crisis
  • maybe his swaddle was not tight enough because he could still move
  • maybe he has a cold
  • maybe his room is too warm
  • maybe his room is too cold
  • maybe he doesn’t like his pajamas because they have a zipper instead of buttons
  • maybe he hates us
We literally discuss almost everyone one of these explanations at times trying to figure out what we are doing wrong and how to “fix” things so our baby will go back to sleeping properly. We then drive each other nuts as each of us has our own explanation for how to fix the problem. The thing is the best explanation usually is he is a baby and baby’s do things that make no sense. We do the same thing for when he is crying or just fussy or his face breaks out (though usually crying is the easiest one to solve as the choices are limited). Our baby basically just confuses us. Why can’t he just tell us what is wrong? When we ask him he seems to go with the silent treatment?
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