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Listen Mofo, you better pick me up and hold me if you know what is good for you

November 29, 2011

You don't want to mess with this face

TIME: 12:31AM

BABY ZACHARY (if he could speak): AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I want to be held dammit. Don’t you get it. I will not sleep in this crib!!!!!!!!!!!! Don’t make me scream all night!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ME: (I pick Zachary up and hold him in my arms).

BABY ZACHARY (if he could speak): Life is good! Me SO HAPPY! (starts whistling “Day-O”)

ME: (I put Zachary back down in the crib)

BABY ZACHARY (if he could speak): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The world is going to end!!! I hate you!!!! Pick me up dammittttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is cruel and unusual punishment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why do you hate me!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ME: (I pick Zachary up and hold him in my arms).

BABY ZACHARY (if he could speak): Ah, cloud nine. (Starts singing “Sunny Days”).

ME: (I put Zachary back down in the crib)

BABY ZACHARY (if he could speak): AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are not my father!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The European debt crisis is going to destroy our economy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ME: (I pick Zachary up and hold him in my arms).

BABY ZACHARY (if he could speak): This is my lucky day. (Starts humming “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”).

ME: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I start to cry).

Yep, Baby Zachary likes to be held at times.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Cody permalink
    November 29, 2011 6:34 pm

    Oh man, that’s awesome lol

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