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Who has been throwing the pacifier out of the crib and onto the floor?

December 14, 2011

Dear Baby Zachary,

I am not saying this is your fault. All I know is that when I come into your bedroom in the middle of the night, I do not always find your pacifier in your crib. I know when I put you to sleep the pacifier was in your mouth and when I come back in the middle of the night to get you back to sleep the pacifier has somehow magically left your crib. I end up looking around for it until I accidentally step on it or find it under the crib. Now, you may argue that I am not in your bedroom in the middle of the night so I do not actually see you throw the pacifier onto the floor and this is true. You may argue that all I have is circumstantial evidence but you are the only one in the room and the pacifier does move from the crib to the floor. You may argue that someone else could be walking in your room in the middle of the night and throwing the pacifier onto the floor but I have known Wifey longer than you have and I am pretty sure she would not be throwing your pacifier onto the floor. I do not understand what motive Wifey would have for doing this or why she would want to set you up to take the blame. I understand that no one likes to be accused of things but can you please just let whoever is throwing the pacifier onto the floor know that I really want them to leave the pacifier in the crib. When the pacifier is thrown onto the floor I have to clean it and find a new one to put in your mouth in the mean time. Looking for the missing pacifier at 3AM is driving me a little crazy. I also think that some of the pacifiers that have been thrown onto the floor have been magically disappearing into some black hole as the number of pacifiers I can locate is dwindling.

Love,

Newdaddyhood

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