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Baby Zachary has 99 problems but a female baby friend ain’t one

December 15, 2011

No sleep and no sleep make Newdaddyhood go something something

Earlier in the week I wrote a yet-to-be-published blog post about how Baby Zachary had been sleeping great lately. I have not had the chance to publish this blog post because since writing the post things have changed for the worse and we have become zombified.

Why is Baby Zachary barely sleeping at night these days? (The usual assumption is just to torture us but I actually have some other good reasons below).

A) Hard-core teething

B) His diaper rash that won’t go away

C) He has gas issues

D) He is having a growth spurt

E) He is showing solidarity with the Occupy Wall Street movement

The answer of course is that I have no freaking clue anymore. Some additional notes on the choices above:

A) It seems like Baby Zachary has been teething since before he was born and still not a tooth has broken free. The pediatrician said that his gums are now super inflamed so the teeth should be breaking through soon. I guess this explains why he has been swallowing his hands more than ever lately. Please come already teeth so I can sleep again.

B) We have now spent a small fortune on diaper rash creams based on a bunch of helpful recommendations. I hope Baby Zachary does not mind that we had to empty his college fund for diaper rash creams.

C) Baby Zachary still has gas issues and between the teething and diaper rash he has become even harder to burp which means…we are screwed.

D) Growth spurt…why not, that is a pretty good explanation for almost everything.

E) If the Occupy Wall Street movement made powerful and convincing arguments like my baby they might get a lot more accomplished.

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