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The People You Will Meet on Baby Message Boards

March 6, 2012

If you are like us, when your baby is not sleeping or has any other type of issue, you will ask Google about that problem. Zachary has not been sleeping well lately and Google has directed us to a number of baby/parenting message boards (from sites like BabyCenter) where we can read posts from other parents discussing similar sleeping issues. Since Zachary was born we have looked at countless message boards about countless questions and I have noticed, especially when it comes to sleeping issues there are certain people you will always see posting on these message boards. If you have never looked at these baby message boards then there is a good chance you will not fully understand the rest of this post but here are the people I seem to find every time I read a message board regarding sleeping issues:

1) There is always the parent that admittedly does something extremely unusual to get their babies to sleep perfectly. The message will always start out with “now this may not be for everyone…” and then suggest something that sounds bat-crap crazy.

Laura writes: We had the same sleeping issues with our little one around eight months. He would wake up constantly and refuse to go back to sleep. Now, this is not for everyone but what we found to be really effective is to hang our little one upside down from the ceiling with elect shock delivering clamps attached to his nipples while blasting the best of Barry Manilow. Our little one slept right through the night for twelve straight hours every night after we started doing that,

2) There is always the parent who refuses to stop treating their baby like a newborn, takes way too much pleasure in the fact that they rocked their baby to sleep for way too long a time period and laments the fact that their baby will grow up one day.

Mary writes: Our little one would wake up on occasion but I would just rock him to sleep. I rocked him every night for hours on end and he slept in our bed until he was fourteen years old. Now that he is an adult and in prison I can no longer rock him every night and I miss that closeness.

3) There is also the parent that will overreact to any suggestion of letting a baby cry themselves to sleep. Cry-it-out in some form is a common method that is used by parents to teach their babies how to put themselves to sleep (luckily we have not had to really use this method).

Cara writes: Our little one had similar sleep issued but we never did something as unholy and cruel as letting our baby cry-it-out. I cannot believe the type of people that exist in our society that would do such a thing to a defenseless child. Do you know that babies that are allowed to cry it out are ten times as likely to join alQaeda? You are committing child abuse. I am going to find where you live and beat you with a phone book until you cry yourself to sleep you savage.

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