Happy Double Digits to Me: I am 10 Months Old Today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear Mommy and Daddy,
Me big boy now. No more of this baby crap (besides what is in my diaper). I expect that I will be treated like an adult now that I am double digits. As an adult there are some points I would like to make:
- I demand you stop trying to feed me all these bizarre foods like strawberries, pasta and cottage cheese. I will, however, if it makes you happy eat some small pieces of banana.
- I will try to be adult about the sippy cup. I will do my best on it but I am not promising anything. You do know that, like Daddy, I am not good with change.
- I know you guys are waiting for me to stand on my own and walk. For someone that could not even role over seven months ago, I would think you would be happy that I can crawl and pull myself up. Are you people never satisfied?
- You may have noticed that I now like to sit up on my knees. It is my new thing and I am going with it even though I sometimes fall over on my face.
- You may have also noticed that I like to cruise around my activity table going in circles for ten straight minutes. I am doing this to mark the activity table as my territory so back off.
- By the way, I have figured out how to use the button on the activity table that switches the voice on it from English to Spanish. This is great because my activity table now speaks two languages that I do not understand.
- Some days I will take a really long nap, like two to three hours and some days I will only nap for a half hour and then refuse to nap the rest of the day. There is no logic to it so stop trying to figure it out and go with it.
- Continuing on the topic of sleep, some nights I will sleep really well and some nights I will wake up a couple of times. It is completely random so get used to it because my sleep is not getting better for at least a few years.
- I like to make really loud screeching and roaring noises. You may think this is me testing out my lungs but no, this is how I speak. You can wait all you want for me to learn your language but you might be better off learning my language of screeches and roars.
- I like to crawl a lot. I like to crawl under the table and under chairs. I like to crawl over things like Daddy’s legs and over that bar on the bottom of my high chair. I like to crawl from my room, to kitchen, to the bathroom and to everywhere else. You cannot stop me, you can only try to contain me.
- While I know you think it is cute when I use my walker, I don’t care about walking. If you want to know my preferred mode of transport then see the previous bullet point.
- While I am an adult, sometimes I need Mommy to pick me up. Mommy, you may have noticed though that when you pick me up I immediately want to go back down. That is just because I need to protect my rep. I don’t want people calling me a Momma’s boy.
- Finally, you may have realized that I like to pull hair. I might like pulling hair more than I like crawling. I know you keep saying “no” when I pull hair but I assume “no” means “yes”.
Zachary “I am a legend in my spare time” Kaplan
P.S. My teeth are never coming in so stop waiting for them.