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Is it weird that the waitress just tried to kiss my little boy?

December 19, 2012

zach being cute

Dear Random Waitress,

I do not know much about you and do not know where you are from. The key here is that I do not know you and you do not know our little boy. I am not aware of the general customs that you follow but I am shocked that you think it is acceptable to try and kiss my little boy. I agree with you that my boy Zachary is quite adorable. When he is happy and smiling he is very fun to be around. I also understand that bringing him to a restaurant can be a hassle for everyone there. Zachary makes a lot of noise, throws food on the ground and demands attention. I really appreciate your patience with him and I have no problem with you smiling at him, waving at him and trying to talk with him. Zachary loves the attention. What I do not appreciate is you trying to give my boy a kiss. It is just plain weird for you to kiss him and I cannot comprehend why you thought that this would be okay to do. A good rule of thumb for you should be that if you are not related to or friends with a boy’s parents then you should not try kiss that little boy. It does not matter how good of a waitress you are or how  much of a bond you think you established with us when we ordered dinner from you, this does not give you special access to our boy’s cheeks. And, by the way, you were not even our main waitress which makes this almost creepier. I am not even sure where you appeared from and I think I just asked you for a refill on my water. Even if you do not comprehend the basic point that you should not kiss other people’s kids, you should have at least noticed the death stare from Wifey as you tried to kiss him. I know Zachary fidgeted away and you did not get to kiss him which was a good thing since again that was really creepy and I did not want to spend the remainder of the night explaining to the police why Wifey ripped your beating heart out Mortal Kombat style. In closing, speaking for all parents, please never try to kiss our children unless for some odd reason we suggest it.

Yours truly,

Zachary’s very disturbed Daddy

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