I am kind of a shy guy

Sometimes my midget is really outgoing and sometimes he is quite shy. On my building elevator, we will regularly encounter strangers who will say hi to Zachary. Zachary will react by either shoving his face into my legs or hiding behind my legs. I usually react by moving over to once again expose Zachary. He will then scurry back behind my legs to avoid seeing the stranger. The friendlier they are the harder he will try to hide. He will, however, say bye bye to the stranger when we leave the elevator. Zachary cracks me up sometimes.

Bathroom time with Zachary goes awry

THE SCENE: It was last night and I was in the bathroom with Zachary getting him ready for bed. Zachary had just finished brushing his teeth (and, by brushing I mean he voluntarily inserted the toothbrush into his mouth and sucked water off of the toothbrush bristles).

ME: Hey Wifey, check what Zachary is trying to do now.

WIFEY: What is he doing?

ME: He is trying to shove his tooth brush into the toilet. This is why I keep telling you that you need a lock on the toilet in your bathroom as well.

WIFEY: You are going to let him shove the toothbrush into the toilet.

ME: No, he can’t actually do it because I have that lock on my toilet seat.

(PLOP!)

ME: OH FUDGE!!! (I may have said something else besides fudge)

WIFEY:

Unexpected Problems When Dealing With a Zachary

PROBLEM: One of Zachary’s feet is a half size bigger than the other.

WHY IS THIS AN ISSUE: It means one of Zachary’s sneakers is always a bit loose on him.

HOW DOES ZACHARY REACT TO THIS ISSUE: Frequently when he is sitting down, especially when in the stroller he will use one of his feet to take the loose sneaker off the other foot. Sometimes he takes his sock off too.

WHY DOES THIS WORRY US: We are worried that Zachary will take his shoe off while we are walking him in the stroller somewhere and we will only realize his sneaker has fallen off when it is too late. Losing a toddler sneaker would really not be fun as they are not so cheap.

OUR SOLUTION:

The Great Toddler Negotiations of 2013

I have shockingly found that I can effectively negotiate with Zachary. One of the most frustrating things lately has been getting Zachary dressed in the morning and getting him into his pajamas at night. This usually involves him screaming, shouting “no, no, no!!!”  as I try to take his pants or shirt off and him running around for fifteen minutes in his diaper or worse naked. I do not know why it bothers him so. My theory is that Zachary likes to be independent (lucky us) and forcing him to change his clothes interferes with this independence. The last couple of days though, getting Zachary dressed has been a breeze. I have started negotiating with him. The most effective negotiating tactic lately has been telling Zachary that if he changes his clothes then, and only then, will I read to him, “The Snowy Day”. Zachary then complies and I read him this story. I am sure this will not last but I am really enjoying negotiating with Zachary so far.

Two Versions of Mommy Day with Zachary

Wifey had a very nice Mommy Day yesterday. Here are two versions of how yesterday morning went:

VERSION 1: How we want to remember yesterday when we look back:

Zachary wished Wifey a Happy Mommy Day and then we took her to a nice breakfast at a French bakery that she wanted to try. After, we all went to Central Park. It was a beautiful morning at Central Park as we sat by a lake there and stared at the duckies.

VERSION 2: Here is a less idealized version of yesterday morning.

After much coaxing Zachary looked at Wifey and said, “Mommy Day” and then went back to playing. Next, we went to a nice breakfast in which Zachary smeared Nuttella all over his face and hands. We then had to beg Zachary to stay in his high chair, eventually giving him the i-Phone to play with so Wifey and I could finish breakfast. After that, we went to Central Park where we saw the duckies. Zachary was kind of obsessed with the duckies and almost threw himself into the lake to get to the duckies. See picture below. Zachary also threw a fit when we eventually had to leave the duckies.

What is the best way to get Zachary to brush his teeth?

Getting Zachary to brush his teeth can be difficult at times. Guess which one of the below techniques is most effective.

A) Make a game out of it and show Zachary that brushing can be fun.

B) Show Zachary that we brush and have him imitate us.

C) Explain to Zachary the health benefits of brushing.

OR

D) Tell Zachary that he is not allowed to brush his teeth and shout, “no, no, no, no…” when he tries to brush.

If you have not guessed already, I will give you a hint. Zachary loves to break the rules and never wants to listen to what he is supposed to do.

My continuing dialogue with a midget

I was unsuccessful in getting an actual picture of Zachary in his Spider-Man PJs

ME: Hey Zachary, what is on your shirt? Is that Spider-Man? Can you say Spider-Man?

ZACHARY: Spider-Man!

ME: What is on your shirt Zachary?

ZACHARY: Doggie!

ME: No, that is Spider-Man.

ZACHARY: Doggie!

ME: Try again, Spider-Man is on your shirt. What is on your shirt?

ZACHARY: Doggie!

I PUT ON ELMO PUPPET